Monday, January 7, 2008


So it was my birthday yesterday, and at my office when it's somebody's birthday the whole team gets together and "surprises" them in a bogus meeting that's been scheduled. Then, the birthday person has to sit there while everybody half-heartedly sings Happy Birthday and embarrasses them while eating mediocre baked goods. God, I'm dreading that meeting so much.

My birthday was on Sunday, and last Friday was kinda hectic so I wasn't surprised that it didn't happen then. Today's Monday, and I just know it's gonna happen soon. It's the end of the day though and nobody's wished me a happy birthday or anything. Hmm, is it possible that they all forgot? That would be so great! Oh man, I'm scot-free!

But what if they really did forget? Whoa that would be really weird. I mean, a few months ago, my boss sent out an email asking everybody what their birthday was, and I made sure to respond really quickly with January 6, all in big letters and everything, so they couldn't have forgotten...

Oh my god, they forgot my fucking birthday! How could they? I was there, singing Happy Birthday for all of them on their special days! We'd bust in on their fake meeting with their manager, big smiles on our face, belting out Happy Birthday at the top of our lungs to show them how much we cared. Then, we'd all sit around and just kinda shoot the shit over cake that's always absolutely superb. Or maybe cupcakes; those are totally awesome too. But, no, not for me!

That figures. That just figures, doesn't it? The guy who's always the most enthusiastic about everybody else's birthday doesn't get squat for himself. Well, fine then! We'll see who sings next time it's somebody's birthday around here. That is, if I'm not already long gone by that time...

Oh, god, here they come. This is fucking horrible.

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